Saturday 5 July 2008

Ex Africa semper aliquid crappy

When are we going to be allowed to say what we really think of African so-called “leaders”? We know damn well what we all thought of last weeks “African Union Summit”, starring “President” Robert Mugabe. What a revolting bunch of twats, preening around in suits that were certainly not made in the continent which competence forgot, any more than the cars they swank around in were. The whole summit reminded me of an old Foreign Office joke:

Q. Could a summit of African leaders possibly solve the problems of the continent?

A. Depends how big a bomb you planted under it.

"President" Omar Bongo of Gabon (a name no novelist would have got away with making up) then said that Mugabe had become rather a "hero" to the other wankers present for defying the white man. This is so clearly a fourteen-year-old's response. Why should we respect it just because Mr Bongo is black?

African "leaders" are slightly worse news for the continent than the HIV virus, and it is time both were eradicated.

We saw a photographer trying to get a shot of the Mugger being pushed away by an accompanying goon, who said “He’s a head of state! You can’t do that to him! Is it just ‘cos you’re a white man? I mean, you’re mad!” Of course anyone casting the slightest slight on a black mass murderer is purely motivated by racism.

The people who really are purely motivated by racism are those like the International Cricket Council, who aren’t even prepared to suspend Zim from international cricket, saying that sport should not be influenced by politics. I mean, how long are these people’s memories? Or rather, is there any limit to the racism these people are allowed to get away with you because a lot of them aren‘t white? The world of cricket actually achieved something by closing ranks against South African cricket purely on the grounds of its politics; the referendum on change in 1992 was decisively influenced by the fact that SA were then in the semi-final of the World Cup and would have been slung out if they’d rejected the changes. But Mugabe’s black, even if his victims are too, and so he’s all right. Racist scum.

And then you get the Anglican Churches of Africa, who perhaps aren’t racist but just hate homosexuals. This, of course, has nothing to do with the Bible, though some of the obscurer bits of the Good Book are cited as an excuse. African sexual culture’s rejection of gays is the flip side of a dumb macho celebration of fantastically promiscuous unprotected heterosexual screwing around, which has left the whole continent awash with AIDS. For me the leading light of the Church of Jesus Christ, Queerbasher, the Archbishop of Nigeria, will always be Bishop “AIDS” Akinola.

No doubt African culture has several good things to teach us (though just at the moment they fail to occur to me) but attitudes to sexual morality are certainly not among them.

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