An ethnic problem, from a non-racist angle

I have made no secret of it, nor am I remotely ashamed, that I have married into what HRH Prince Philip would call the slant-eyed community. It is, on the whole, a nice thing that my wife the Iron Buddha has plenty of compatriots in the North-West of England. However, there is a darker side to all this jolly multi-culturalism.

I think it is generally accepted that the main problem with multi-culturalism is the temptation to some “communities” to cling to the negative aspects of their traditions as well as the positive ones. In the case of M*sl*ms this of course involves a psychopathic obsession with making sure their womenfolk are not getting laid. Among the Chinese it tends to be an obsession with the idea that workers must know their place, and it is face down in the shit with someone’s foot in the small of your back.

We know someone who has just started a job in a Chinese herbal shop. Nothing against Chinese medicine; it has x thousand years of tradition and presumably has some evidence of success or it would have died out, notwithstanding the fact that Western science can’t work out exactly how it works. But the way it works in this country is worth a comment.

A large number of people of Chinese origin in this country are, let us gently suggest, of somewhat dubious immigration status. Most of them are quite well educated and culturally inclined to work quite hard and do what they’re told. Thus employment conditions in the Chinese restaurant and Chinese medicine sectors are less than ideal; people are employed on conditions amounting to “take what’s on offer or fuck off”. Those who, like the person I mentioned in the last para or the Iron Buddha, have perfectly regular immigration status, are expected to work on the same basis. “If you don’t want the job, there are plenty that will.” Who says the 19th century is dead?

Above all, the first law of sensible employment, that you join a trade union, has no currency among the Chinese. It might annoy the boss, you see. In China, trade unions are in cahoots with the boss and are used to put on entertainments to keep the workers docile. I know a top-class opera singer who was only discovered working in a Chinese textile factory’s trade union song-and-dance troupe. But in England you can chuck har-gau dumplings by the million in a Chinese restaurant without much danger of hitting a trade union member, or, probably, anyone working on or above the statutory minimum wage.

The cultural problem here is that there is nothing in the Chinese tradition to support standing up to your boss, or threatening union action or industrial tribunals. And they are encouraged to think that working in a Chinese environment means working to Chinese rules. Duibuqi (sorry), it doesn’t.

Our friend in the herbal shop came across this issue again and again. No, you can’t have a quarter of an hour to have your lunch. Yes, we work seven days a week. And the incredible cattiness you would expect from people competing against each other for the boss’s favour with no safety net; our friend was actually better qualified than her boss but had to hide the fact most meticulously. No, the fact that your presence happened to coincide with a sixfold increase in sales wasn’t due to you in any way. And this for £14,000 a year for a qualified doctor. Don’t like it? Soon find someone who will.

Time to put the trade union movement on to monstering the Chinese restaurant/healthcare sector. The fact that I bet the Chinese aren’t well represented there will be helpful to us.

Of course my Chinese friends aren’t keen on this, because they know who controls Chinese businesses in the UK, and they aren’t people you want to get the wrong side of, being fond of machetes and such. But it’s about time we rolled these people up. For one thing, it will enable the Iron Buddha to establish a proper business without competition from scumbags.