...which is how Dylan Thomas described his occasional necessary trips to London. I hate the Wen as a place to live in, as my ex-wife does in my house on my tab, but it's nice to visit occasionally. I'm principally going down to see Enormous Oaf 1 do some thesping, in the major production at Royal Holloway, as he is believed (principally, though by no means exclusively, by himself) to be shit-hot. Apart from him (he has an utterly adorable petite blonde girlfriend, as bright as a laser beam and entirely capable of keeping him in some sort of order) I don't suppose I'll meet another heterosexual all the time I'm there. London for me is a carnival of wooftery - after all straight blokes my age tend to have families and thus have to work too hard to be available for wack. Even Enormous Oaf 2 is a woofter, and we shall all enjoy several evenings where the tout ensemble is as camp as the Gulag Archipelago. As appeared on a banner in Derek Jarman's film Edward II:
Liberté, Egalité, Homosexualité
Amen to that, at least temporarily.
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
Monday, 9 June 2008
Practical Islam
Today's Independent (yes, I know, but I'll leave my criticism of the Indefensible for the time being) has a piece on a 14-year-old wannabe suicide bomber explaining how he got that way. "All I know is what the mullahs told me and kept telling me, that the British and the Americans were against God," he said with his head bowed down, his hands twisting a handkerchief.
How does this differ from what young men in Birmingham and Lancashire are being told?
"I wanted to see my mother and father but I was told that was not possible for security reasons. That upset me but I thought I will be seeing them again as soon as I got back.(Oh yes? So the poor kid clearly hadn't grasped what he was in for.) They said my family would get well paid for what I was doing."
Tolerance, always tolerance. And understanding of the reality of Islam. Well, thanks - you can't get much nearer to understanding of the reality of Islam than that. Sorry, but this is what it is about.
No Islam In Britain!
How does this differ from what young men in Birmingham and Lancashire are being told?
"I wanted to see my mother and father but I was told that was not possible for security reasons. That upset me but I thought I will be seeing them again as soon as I got back.(Oh yes? So the poor kid clearly hadn't grasped what he was in for.) They said my family would get well paid for what I was doing."
Tolerance, always tolerance. And understanding of the reality of Islam. Well, thanks - you can't get much nearer to understanding of the reality of Islam than that. Sorry, but this is what it is about.
No Islam In Britain!
Technobollocks
Have been remiss in my contributions to the blogosphere today. The fact is I have had my password rejected all over Blogger. Particular apologies are due to my friend The Exile; not only was I rendered unable to piss on his arguments (in the nicest possible way!) on his own blog, but couldn't even reply to his comment on my own! Anyway, to put it succinctly: anti-imperialism is a steaming heap of crap.
42 days.....
Sounds like a film title, doesn't it? But we all know what it means and what it's a symbol of.
I ought to be amazed, though of course I'm not, that this has become such a cause celebre for the wet liberals. Yes, let's listen to all the expert advice etc., but let's not introduce any wet-lipped "moral" wabbling and vacillation into the issue. There's only a practical case here, not a moral one. Neither Magna Carta, Habeas Corpus or the Bill of Rights were ever intended to protect the rights of people who want to impose a foreign religion on Britain by terrorist violence. In the reign of Queen Elizabeth they wouldn't have held anyone for 42 days without solid evidence. Sir Francis Walsingham would have cooked some up, and they'd all have been hung by the neck unil half-dead, had their intestines drawn out and their bollocks chopped off, and subsequently had quarters of their bodies nailed up at city gates around the kingdom. Not that Cipriano would go that far - just that the bastards should feel lucky to stay alive, as the ones at Guantanamo Bay should. (Believe me, the Americans won't take any prisoners next time.)
And the idea, floated by Sam Leith in the Telegraph (!) last week, that the 42-day lock-up threatens all of us. No, Sam, it won't happen to you and it won't happen to me. And the wet policemen who claim it will "alienate the Moslem community". Well, it won't affect any normal peaceable Moslems either. Anyone who gets het up about it shows themselves to be at least ambivalent about the jihadis. Let's get this straight: I COULDN'T GIVE A MONKEY'S WHAT HAPPENS TO JIHADI MOSLEMS, AND ANYONE WHO COULD IS A BIT SUSPECT! Now, what part of that did you not understand?
I ought to be amazed, though of course I'm not, that this has become such a cause celebre for the wet liberals. Yes, let's listen to all the expert advice etc., but let's not introduce any wet-lipped "moral" wabbling and vacillation into the issue. There's only a practical case here, not a moral one. Neither Magna Carta, Habeas Corpus or the Bill of Rights were ever intended to protect the rights of people who want to impose a foreign religion on Britain by terrorist violence. In the reign of Queen Elizabeth they wouldn't have held anyone for 42 days without solid evidence. Sir Francis Walsingham would have cooked some up, and they'd all have been hung by the neck unil half-dead, had their intestines drawn out and their bollocks chopped off, and subsequently had quarters of their bodies nailed up at city gates around the kingdom. Not that Cipriano would go that far - just that the bastards should feel lucky to stay alive, as the ones at Guantanamo Bay should. (Believe me, the Americans won't take any prisoners next time.)
And the idea, floated by Sam Leith in the Telegraph (!) last week, that the 42-day lock-up threatens all of us. No, Sam, it won't happen to you and it won't happen to me. And the wet policemen who claim it will "alienate the Moslem community". Well, it won't affect any normal peaceable Moslems either. Anyone who gets het up about it shows themselves to be at least ambivalent about the jihadis. Let's get this straight: I COULDN'T GIVE A MONKEY'S WHAT HAPPENS TO JIHADI MOSLEMS, AND ANYONE WHO COULD IS A BIT SUSPECT! Now, what part of that did you not understand?
Sunday, 8 June 2008
Ouch!
I don’t usually take much notice of the BBC when they warn me that what they are about to show me may be a bit distressing. Am I a man or a mouse? And how much of the news isn’t rather distressing, if one thinks about it? But I’ve just found myself almost wishing I’d heeded the warning.
On the BBC website there is a first-person account of a former torturer employed by the Zimbabwe secret police. “A first aid box was opened - and inside were pliers and screwdrivers. We asked the man to choose between the two. The captain then took the pliers and called us near. He got near his genitals, then got one of his balls, pressed it with the pliers, and popped it. There was a lot of blood.”
This has had me crossing my legs ever since. Good for the bloke, though – he got out of it, and has fled the country. But how did he come to get into it? “If you're me, and you don't know about the secret service, all you know is that it protects the sovereignty of your country - it's not a difficult job to do.” The sovereignty of your country. Of course. And now we know what that means: the right to have your balls “popped” by someone of the same skin colour as yourself.
Let’s Make Sovereignty History, folks. What did Mugabe call his recent political cleansing effort against the poor living in shanty towns? Operation Murambatsvina – “clear out the rubbish”. Yes – let’s clear out all the trash and vermin in the souped-up Mercs. Let Assassination Thrive.
On the BBC website there is a first-person account of a former torturer employed by the Zimbabwe secret police. “A first aid box was opened - and inside were pliers and screwdrivers. We asked the man to choose between the two. The captain then took the pliers and called us near. He got near his genitals, then got one of his balls, pressed it with the pliers, and popped it. There was a lot of blood.”
This has had me crossing my legs ever since. Good for the bloke, though – he got out of it, and has fled the country. But how did he come to get into it? “If you're me, and you don't know about the secret service, all you know is that it protects the sovereignty of your country - it's not a difficult job to do.” The sovereignty of your country. Of course. And now we know what that means: the right to have your balls “popped” by someone of the same skin colour as yourself.
Let’s Make Sovereignty History, folks. What did Mugabe call his recent political cleansing effort against the poor living in shanty towns? Operation Murambatsvina – “clear out the rubbish”. Yes – let’s clear out all the trash and vermin in the souped-up Mercs. Let Assassination Thrive.
Cruckut, Lovely Cruckut
The delights of the cricket season. A couple of times I’ve had a yen to pop over and see a live Test Match, something I haven’t done for years due to living abroad. But I always end up thinking of the horribly early starts (I thought of going to Nottingham for the fourth day today; it would have been a two-and-a-half hour drive in each direction, and as things fell out there was only an hour’s play.) And you can’t see what’s happening on the close lbw shouts, it costs thirty-five quid, and you can’t even bring any booze in, only buy it at a tenner a glug.
So it’s the armchair and the remote control and the direct debit to Rupert Murdoch. Also the ancient English custom of having the radio on (in the kitchen) while the TV’s on in the living room. The reason for this is that one is always supposed to be doing domestic things while watching the cricket, to appease one’s conscience and one’s wife, assuming for the purposes of argument that the two can be distinguished. For some reason the radio commentary runs about one second ahead of the TV, which means that, if you leave the door open, you can hear of a stirring occurrence in the kitchen and be in the living room in time to see it happen. Alternatively, you can see a bowler running up to bowl while hearing that the outside edge has already been snapped up by second slip.
This being an England-New Zealand series, one is always delighted by the Kiwi commentators. New Zealanders only seem to use one vowel sound, the sort of flat “u” found in “uh-huh” and represented in Korean by a horizontal line; linguists call it a “schwa”. So people are described as taking wuckuts, getting caught in the slups and occasionally huttung the ball for sucks.
So it’s the armchair and the remote control and the direct debit to Rupert Murdoch. Also the ancient English custom of having the radio on (in the kitchen) while the TV’s on in the living room. The reason for this is that one is always supposed to be doing domestic things while watching the cricket, to appease one’s conscience and one’s wife, assuming for the purposes of argument that the two can be distinguished. For some reason the radio commentary runs about one second ahead of the TV, which means that, if you leave the door open, you can hear of a stirring occurrence in the kitchen and be in the living room in time to see it happen. Alternatively, you can see a bowler running up to bowl while hearing that the outside edge has already been snapped up by second slip.
This being an England-New Zealand series, one is always delighted by the Kiwi commentators. New Zealanders only seem to use one vowel sound, the sort of flat “u” found in “uh-huh” and represented in Korean by a horizontal line; linguists call it a “schwa”. So people are described as taking wuckuts, getting caught in the slups and occasionally huttung the ball for sucks.
Saturday, 7 June 2008
Nation of Slaves
Rather distasteful news from China, that they’re now taking a leaf out of the Soviet book and bunging dissidents in the nuthouse. As usual the logic is impeccable, as I heard from a spokesman on the telly (thanks to the Iron Buddha I now have Chinese official television as a sort of 24-hour streaming media, a high price to pay for my occasional access to Sky Sports); “these people who are always protesting are obvious political maniacs – their political views are completely out of line with reality”. Well, yes. Complete domination of the Party is the reality – if you can’t accept that you must be stark staring bonkers.
And of course they all accept that – at least 99.9% of them do. Chinese apologists claim that the dissidents are only a minute fraction of the population, and this is perfectly true. The vast majority have the mentality of slaves, trembling at the frown of their employers when not kow-towing to the government. Chinese industrial relations are pre-Tolpuddle Martyrs.
Which is fair enough, I suppose, if that’s what they want. But we don’t want them bringing that attitude over here. My good lady has been chambermaiding in a hotel recently, to fill in while she gets her business set up. As the newest member of the team she of course got landed with all the shitwork, mainly cleaning the bogs with a strong chemical which gave her a persistent headache. (What price elf ‘n’ safety?) The supervisor being on holiday, she had no recourse and the senior woman on the team refused to budge. Finally having reached the stage where she had to get things changed or give up the job, she appealed to the general manager. After this she fielded a 45-minute panic phone call from a Chinese colleague in the hotel; the latter was utterly terrified that the IB’s complaint would somehow reflect on her, put her in bad with management or other colleagues, just because she was a fellow-Chinese and had recommended the IB for the job in the first place. So she is now either having to withdraw her complaint to pacify her friend, or just give up the job. And the IB still hasn’t been paid for two days work she did in Blackburn three months ago, and is showing no inclination to demand it. I shall have to go down there myself with my boots blacked.
I am reluctantly coming to the conclusion, after 20 years of fairly enjoyable involvement with them, that the Chinese won’t do. They just don’t understand the first thing about living in a free country, and so probably shouldn’t be here, at least not if they’re going to undermine 200 years of workers’ struggle.
And of course they all accept that – at least 99.9% of them do. Chinese apologists claim that the dissidents are only a minute fraction of the population, and this is perfectly true. The vast majority have the mentality of slaves, trembling at the frown of their employers when not kow-towing to the government. Chinese industrial relations are pre-Tolpuddle Martyrs.
Which is fair enough, I suppose, if that’s what they want. But we don’t want them bringing that attitude over here. My good lady has been chambermaiding in a hotel recently, to fill in while she gets her business set up. As the newest member of the team she of course got landed with all the shitwork, mainly cleaning the bogs with a strong chemical which gave her a persistent headache. (What price elf ‘n’ safety?) The supervisor being on holiday, she had no recourse and the senior woman on the team refused to budge. Finally having reached the stage where she had to get things changed or give up the job, she appealed to the general manager. After this she fielded a 45-minute panic phone call from a Chinese colleague in the hotel; the latter was utterly terrified that the IB’s complaint would somehow reflect on her, put her in bad with management or other colleagues, just because she was a fellow-Chinese and had recommended the IB for the job in the first place. So she is now either having to withdraw her complaint to pacify her friend, or just give up the job. And the IB still hasn’t been paid for two days work she did in Blackburn three months ago, and is showing no inclination to demand it. I shall have to go down there myself with my boots blacked.
I am reluctantly coming to the conclusion, after 20 years of fairly enjoyable involvement with them, that the Chinese won’t do. They just don’t understand the first thing about living in a free country, and so probably shouldn’t be here, at least not if they’re going to undermine 200 years of workers’ struggle.
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